All posts tagged: anxiety

Talking Back to Stress Anxiety

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    When we live in anxiety, it amounts to a constant state of worry. While it’s normal to be concerned about the daily occurrences in our lives, it takes on a “life of its own” when we become consumed with negative thoughts. Our bodies and mind are equipped to handle routine stress with the levels of adrenaline on an as needed basis. At times, we enter into that flight or fight mode, even when no real physical threat exists. When this happens we’re asking our bodies to go beyond the call of duty, and the extra effort takes a toll on our balance of mind, body, and spirit.  There are some things we can do to talk back to our stress anxiety!  The approach used in Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), asks us to take a more realistic approach. This requires us to look at a situation as it really is and give ourselves some feedback. By questioning the facts, as they REALLY are, we can look at situations as being positive, negative or simply neutral. Here …

Free-Floating Anxiety

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    We’ve all experienced that pervasive feeling of being “out of sorts.” We can’t quite put our finger on it, but somethings’s out of whack. If we really examine the root cause, it’s usually something going on inside that is a result of an outside influence. Of course it’s fear-based. We have a fear of losing something we have or not getting what we want. We dread future events that usually never come to pass, at least not in the way we anticipate. It kind of goes back to the acronym for F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real) We play out all of the worst case scenarios. We even rehearse in our minds the way things are going to go down. “Well when they say that, my reply or argument is going to be this.”  There are the times we are anxious about an event or encounter because it might not have the desired outcome we have in mind. There are still other circumstance when we have that free floating sense of Dis Ease because …

Hitting Reset or Delete

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  As we go through our day, there are any number of things that can steal our joy.  The alarm didn’t go off, we’re out of coffee, and our spouse used the last clean wash cloth. The dog surprised us with a shredded slipper. That’s all before 8:00 a.m.!  We’re late because of that slow poke or the longest traffic light in town.  At work, a coworker makes a negative or rude comment. Our boss gives us an unreasonable deadline.  At the store the person in front of us has a stack of coupons and price-matching items. We only have a simple gallon of milk. Then we get home exhausted only to have our child tell us they have detention in school. Our spouse forgot to pick our dry cleaning up as promised, or overdrew the bank account. These are all realistically part of just about anyone’s day. The problem is that by the time we end our day, all of these things have piled up like an overflowing garbage can. We have resentments, anxiety, …

Living in the Moment

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  Oh how we love our vacations. We look forward to them with so much anticipation and expectation. It’s relatively easy for us to live in the moment at most of our destination choices. That’s because we usually schedule it around doing the things we love to do…beach side, golf, dining, shopping, and sightseeing. We take photos and purchase souvenirs to remember at a later time. We simply don’t want out getaway to end! Then we start having those thoughts toward when we will have to go back to reality. The more obsessive compulsive among us start preparing for the return home days before, at least mentally. We’ve already checked out so to speak! Sometimes we experience each day by counting the hours until its 5:00 o’clock. We begin our Monday, trying to make it to “hump day” Wednesday, and  trying to survive until the weekend comes. The dreaded Monday rolls around and the process begins again. In between there are the equivalent of the beautiful sunsets, sights, and treasures we have during our times …

Mountains and Molehills

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Many of us go through our day in fear of certain situations and misfortunes that might come our way. About 90% of the bad experiences and events we imagine never come to pass. The pessimist sees the world as taking what we possess or not giving us those things we feel we deserve. We becomes stressed in traffic and allow it to ruin our commute. We still get to work on time. Someone tells us the boss isn’t  pleased with something we did. We obsess it all night, rehearsing the big showdown.  It’s never mentioned. When we live our lives in this way it becomes exhausting. It takes a toll on our health of mind, body, and spirit. We weren’t created to experience constant worry and anxiety. We are using our daily energy supply in non-productive thought processes, and are depleted when we really need them. Life Coaching Partners can help you recognize when mole hills are becoming mountains. We have tools to help you counteract those automatic negative thoughts. Going around the same mountain …

Worry As It Relates to Concern for Our Children

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The anxiety we experience over our children is different from other kinds of worry. It arises not only out of deep love, but also a sense of fear and helplessness. Thoughts of our children’s future and well being consume a huge part of our psychic energy. Many parents actually attempt to live vicariously through their children. We often second guess our decisions and efforts to exert authority. When worry becomes anxiety it can steal our joy, and use up the majority of our emotional resources. Many of our concerns are beyond our control, or they’re simply a “rite of passage” The life coaching relationship enables a client to have a sounding board and objective observer to put some of these concerns into perspective. In any event there are some measures we can take to alleviate the burden of worrying about our children. Here are four quick tools: Plan prayer time (even 15 minutes per day) In addition, a life coach specializing in spiritual direction can suggest Bible passages that are relational. Place your name or …

The 4 E’s of Controlling Worry Anxiety-Extinguish It

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Previously we looked at three of  The 4 E’s of Controlling Worry Anxiety, Externalize It, Explore It, and Embrace It. In this article we’ll look at the last step, Extinguish It. In this process we give ourselves permission to spend time worrying about something that’s really bothering us. There is a catch here, however!  You spend no less than 3 minutes and no more than 15 minutes. The reason is that after 15 minutes your mind will automatically hit the switch over to something else. It’s kind of like when you are trying to complete a puzzle or figure out something technical, it’s best to pause, take a breather, then revisit it. The solution comes to us easier when we do so. After this I suggest you put it down in writing, perhaps in a worry notebook. I also like the idea of having a “God Box” and writing your worry down on a slip of paper. Then I explain to God that it’s bigger than me and out of my control. I also pray for the …

The 4 E’s of Controlling Worry Anxiety- Embrace It!

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  Previously I discussed the first two E’s those being, Externalize It and Explore It. Next we will look at the one we tend to get hung up on, when we are asked to Embrace It. This requires an element of surrender on our part. Our first natural response to fear, worry and anxiety is fight or flight. We try to fight it off but our brain says, “Hello, You’re not paying attention here!” Fear and anxiety are usually clear indicators that we are running on self-will alone and not placing our trust in God. Fear inspires. Fear affects. Fear propels us either into action or spiraling into despair. Life will always throw us the” what ifs“. Our response needs to be, “Ok, what now?” This is where God is able to get to work and turn our question marks into exclamation marks. We have to acknowledge what causes us anxiety and confront it for what it is. A life coach can walk you through the process of separating fact from fiction, and faulty perceptions from reality. A personal …

The 4 E’s of Controlling Worry Anxiety-Explore It

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  The second E of the tool kit to combat worry anxiety is Explore It.  It involves putting pen to paper. I am worried because… I’ll give you a typical example. I’m worried because  my son and his wife are having marriage difficulties. First of all we need to ask ourselves first and foremost, “Is this something I have control over?” In this case the answer is obviously no. Secondly, “Is there an eminent danger involved?” Unless there is some threat of abuse or physical danger, again the answer is no. Next I can check the legitimacy by observing history. “Is this a pattern?” Perhaps it is and it seems to have worked its way out in the past. If it’s not a pattern, it could just be a rough time needing discernment and communication. You can offer hope and encouragement based on your life experience. You don’t have to be a mediator nor take sides. Just be a good listener and observer. Sometimes people we love just need to be heard and to have their …

The Four E’s of Controlling Worry Anxiety

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  We wake up and start our day feeling out of sorts and can’t seem to put our finger on exactly what’s going on in our head. Most often it has something to do with something we fear or would rather not deal with today. We begin to internalize the thoughts, they grow, and begin to take on a life of their own. This brings us to the First E that can be used as a tool in combating worry anxiety. Externalize It!   The best way we can begin to  face a fear is to simply open up to another human being. Just by giving it “the light of day”, we allow someone whom we trust to be objective enough to just listen. We may value their opinion and discernment when they tell us our fears are probably unfounded. We all need to have in our life what I like to call “that garbage dump friend”. This is someone who doesn’t mind letting us unload on them once in a while. This is the same principle that exists …