The Melancholy temperament in control is fiercely independent. They will tolerate very little interference in their lives, nor do they need or accept a great deal of advice. On the other hand, they aren’t inclined to offer suggestions or meddle in the lives of others. They are very good at making decisions and assuming responsibility in known areas. This temperament is able to step into leadership responsibility when the position is familiar and they are allowed to proceed at their own pace. Because they tend to be perfectionist, they will reserve many of the tasks in life for their own undertaking. “If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself!”
The flip side of the melancholy in control is that because of their strong independence, they aren’t willing to be submissive to authority. There is also an element of having more of a need to appear to be in control then actually being in control. For a melancholy in control, it’s far more important to be right than to be liked by others. There is always a lingering fear of being wrong, making mistakes, or failure. This often prevents them from taking calculated risks and achieving goals. For the melancholy it’s more like, “Nobody moves, nobody gets hurt”, as opposed to “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”
The good news is that the melancholy can blossom and thrive through the life coaching process!Once they gain insight into the reality that mistakes and shortcomings are part of the human condition, they are better able to neutralize negative self talk. They are also empowered by their personal growth plan by initially setting small goals and venturing into unknown areas. In this way they can broaden the circumference of their comfort zone, entertaining suggestions, and viewing new experiences as being fun and less threatening.
If you feel a sense of being trapped or stuck where you are, you just might be a melancholy ready to bloom where you’re planted. You may also live with a melancholy as well! Two melancholies can find themselves as a pair “stuck in neutral.” It’s time to get into 4-wheel drive!
Jan M. Drury, M.S., C.L.C. jan@lifecoachingpartners.com
Life Coaching Partners, LLC 